


The Last Hurdle

by trollmela



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s01e09 Brief Candle, Gen, Humor, Medical Examination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-07
Updated: 2019-01-07
Packaged: 2019-10-06 07:17:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17341004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trollmela/pseuds/trollmela
Summary: “Only one exam left.” She glanced at her ever present companion, The Clipboard, then looked him straight in the eye and declared: “Your prostate.”(Banter only, nothing graphic)





	The Last Hurdle

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Jack's line in S01E09 Brief Candle: "Aside from a little prostate problem we won't go into, it's not so bad."
> 
> Clearly I could not resist. Because Jack might not want to go into it, but Janet sure does, and his team looks out for him.

It took two weeks until the nanites lost their effect completely, just as Carter had predicted, and Jack was finally returned to his natural old age of 45. Various aches and pains disappeared until there was just a twinge in his knee from time to time. That, unfortunately, he had already had before and he didn’t think it would go away either.

Naturally, he’d spent his time de-aging in Napoleon’s empire. And just as he was looking forward to hearing a hard-won discharge from her lipstick-red lips, Dr. Fraiser noted:

“Only one exam left.” She glanced at her ever present companion, The Clipboard, then looked him straight in the eye and declared: “Your prostate.”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Jack rolled his eyes. “My baby chicks sung like a flock of canaries, didn’t they? Is there nothing holy-“

“They’re only concerned for your health, Colonel,” she interrupted him. “And while some problems may be expected at an advanced age, others are better caught early. So if you would please lower your pants and lie down.” It certainly wasn’t a question, despite the phrasing.

“I’m not having any problems now, Doc. Surely we can postpone this.”

But she shook her head. “I’m afraid not, Colonel. Preventive care is important.”

“You’re a woman. Nobody’s thought up a reason to put a hand up _your_ ass yet,” Jack grouched.

“It’s one finger, Colonel. And, as a woman, I get a gynecologist who shoves an ultrasound transducer up my vagina instead. Much more regularly than you will get a DRE, I might add.”

Jack blinked. “Okay. I got nothing.” Daniel sure didn’t have Janet Fraiser’s talent of making him shut up. And, if he had anything to say about it, he certainly wasn’t going to tell the archeologist that.

“Good, then please lie down and-“

“-assume the position. Yeah, I got it.” Jack complied with a sigh.

When the whole procedure was over, thankfully with only a minimal ache in his ass, he put his clothes in order. Dr. Fraiser disposed of her glove and took down a few notes, carefully outside of Jack’s sight.

“Colonel, I’m putting you on the list for regular exams.”

He barely suppressed a sigh. “How many times do I have to do this? Please tell me it’s not every time I go through the gate.”

Dr. Fraiser smirked. “No, every twelve months should do. But, naturally, if you experience any problems-“

“-I will immediately drop my pants for you, Doctor.”

Had anyone else said that to her, she would have considered making his life very uncomfortable. But O’Neill was a professional; he just had a mouth on him that, just sometimes, made a difficult situation a bit easier. At least as long as she wasn’t his CO.

So she just shrugged.

“You should really be used to it by now. Speaking of, let me see if your shots are up to date.”

Her lips twisted up into a wicked grin. After all, she couldn’t go too easy on him or people would talk.


End file.
